Try Before Die

~ Olivia Hill ~ 1 Comment
Daily writing prompt
Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?
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When I was in high school, I found a quote online:

Anyone desperate enough for suicide should be desperate enough to go to creative extremes to solve problems: elope at midnight, stow away on the boat to New Zealand and start over, do what they always wanted to do but were afraid to try. — Richard Bach

When I’m going through a rough time, I try to remember that.

If the options I’m comfortable with are no longer options, I try to reach out and choose one that might be uncomfortable at first, but might solve more problems than it causes. Needing to adjust to a new way of living, new support systems, and new challenges are things that I can learn to overcome. Death isn’t something anyone can come back from; if I’m willing to die, I should be willing to live first.

FOMO

~ Olivia Hill ~ Leave a comment
Daily writing prompt
What makes you nervous?
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As a Spoonie, chronic illness isn’t who I am, but it affects every aspect of my life. My friends and family, career, pets, hobbies, thoughts, wants, and day-to-day are all changed because of the chronic illness I have. This means I miss out on some things that I wish I could do. More than that, I end up looking back on choices I made as a kid and as a healthy individual and think, “I could’ve done so much more, but I thought I had more time”.

I faced the possibility of dying young, at the age of 4, so I’ve always tried to take advantage of life, that’s not new. As a kid, I thought I’d have more time with my body working normally, so I rested more and said no to more things than I would choose to now. When I got sick in 2015, my first thought was how many times I should’ve said yes to an opportunity or invitation. In some ways, I was granted a second chance to experience more of life; I still have a lot of my functionality left, and I’m extremely lucky.

What makes me nervous, is waking up and looking back on my life and realizing I missed a chance to experience something. I try hard each day to make sure I’ve done everything I had the energy to do, but also while resting properly so I don’t lose more of my health. Finding that balance between rest and experience is stressful, and a lot of people with chronic illness deal with it. When I’m resting my body, though, I try to think “I’m resting now, so I can fully enjoy the next moment I have energy for”. Treating recuperation this way helps quiet the nervous ticking of the clock in my head, telling me I could be running out of time. The rest is learning to accept that there are just some things I can no longer do, but there’s still so much out there for me to experience. I’m not really missing out, just taking a different kind of tour of life. I’m always going to be nervous, but if I do my best to experience the present as much as possible I’m sure I’ll have fewer regrets.

Choices Ripple Outward

~ Olivia Hill ~ Leave a comment
Daily writing prompt
Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.
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I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how each choice we make affects others. There’s tons of literature and films that cover this concept, and I think about it far more often than is probably healthy, but it can be fun too. If you suffer from decision paralysis, it might be a good time to stop reading.

I enjoy a thought experiment, where a scenario is given; the goal is to identify all the possible negative or positive ways a choice or event may affect others, no matter how small. For example, the scenario given might be something unavoidable, like a baby crying through the night keeping their parents awake. Then, you’d brainstorm how that might affect other things. Maybe, the mother wakes up exhausted, she snaps at her husband for asking where his keys are, his mood sours and he goes out to get his morning coffee. At the café, he insults the barista who, in their upset over this, doesn’t notice they’ve forgotten to fully close the lid on a police officer’s cup. The officer spills their coffee, and in their bad mood treats a man stealing food for his family more harshly than he normally would. That man ends up in jail, causing his family to suffer. These scenarios can be brief and generalized, or lengthy and specific.

Once the initial dominos are set, I like to consider how one person might positively affect the situation. Take the scenario you’ve laid out, and add a choice into it that changes everything for the better; one positive action that affects every other. In our current example, that might be that the baby’s grandmother comes to help out with night care, so the parents can sleep. Mom wakes up well rested – helps dad find his keys who is glad to get out on time, feeling supported by his partner. His decides to compliment the barista and pay for the officer’s coffee. The officer had a pleasant morning and his faith in humanity is restored. When he’s asked to cover the theft case, he convinces the shop owner to give the man a job to help pay back the money owed. Charges aren’t filed, and the man starts out on a career path that sets him and his family up for a more secure future.

When I make my own choices, I try to remember that doing something kind for one person might help others, might make more kindness, and might even come back to affect me in some way. Doing something unkind might have a similar, but negative, effect. We all have choices; most times they’re half chance, but I firmly believe that when given the opportunity to make one, the kinder choice creates more good in the world. Our choices ripple outwards and have a larger effect than we might think.

Compliment, Not Creepy

~ Olivia Hill ~ 1 Comment
Daily writing prompt
Describe a random encounter with a stranger that stuck out positively to you.
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The internet is flooded with stories of men who seem like they’re trying to compliment a woman, but end up scaring her instead. It can be frightening to be approached by someone who seems kind at first, but then won’t leave you alone to go about your day. I’ve been on that end of things: herded by a group of men into a corner, to (thankfully) have a key to a building they didn’t expect me to have and get away. That interaction started with a simple compliment from one of them.

You can imagine, after that experience, compliments from men on the street might provoke more caution. I was on my way to class from a parking lot, and a young man approached me who wouldn’t stop staring. Bracing myself, I waited for him to get within comment distance, and he said “Wow, you’re beautiful!” I said thank you and waited for him to stop and expect me to stay and chat. I was pleasantly surprised when he said “I hope you have a great day!” and walked on his way.

It was the first time in my entire life that a random guy had said something kind, and didn’t expect anything from me in return. Where I was treated like a human being by someone who didn’t know me, and not a commodity to be gained. He wanted to say something considerate, without passing on his information or asking for mine, and go about his day. It wasn’t the compliment, it was the way he went about it that was important to me. Feeling like a person and not a conquest is a much better feeling than just feeling beautiful; I’m glad he passed my way that day.

Learning to Try

~ Olivia Hill ~ Leave a comment
Daily writing prompt
Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.
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As an adult, I’ve learned to follow through with things; as a kid I struggled to stick to one thing and finish it. I took dance classes as a child and quit for other things. I re-started dance classes as a 16 year old – which is a bit older than most students. I decided to audition for our high school’s flag/dance team. Anyone who knew me would have been shocked to find out I’d done that; it was out of character for me.

We’d be doing a boot camp to get us all in shape and learn the skills we needed to audition, so I went for it. A week in, a few girls dropped out, and I’d started to realize I most likely wasn’t skilled or in-shape enough to keep up with the better dancers. I decided to stay and follow through with the process, realizing that either way I was gaining some great dance training and exercise. You can imagine how things turned out: I didn’t make it. Other girls told me that I’d done really well for my experience level, and I was extremely proud of the muscle and flexibility I’d gained during the camp.

More than those things, I’d gained a new perspective on failure and learning. I started to realize that just because I wasn’t going to make the team, that didn’t mean the process wasn’t valuable. I stepped out of my comfort zone and took part in something I’d never done before, and even though I “failed” at the end goal, I gained so many things from the experience that I still use today. Now, deciding whether or not do something, I ask myself: If the only thing I have to lose is time, and experience can be gained, why not do the thing?

For My Health and Self

~ Olivia Hill ~ Leave a comment
Daily writing prompt
Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you.
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There are a lot of ways to become a well-adjusted adult and a lot of ideas of what that might look like. For me, the traits I value that I believe much of society values as well are: respect, responsibility, self-motivation, and compassion. There are others, but my parents helped instill these in me in ways I feel made my life easier, not harder. Specifically, my mother, who consistently taught me about the balance between pushing yourself and resting. In my life, she’s the OG of the “work-life balance”. She respected my autonomy and personal boundaries without fail, and stood up for my freedom to be myself and choose my own life.

I can’t narrow-down what she’s done for me to just one action, but I can give you two major times her positive effect rippled into years of my life. When I was young and still figuring out who I was, and everyone had an opinion on what that should be, and when I was an adult and my condition started to become more extreme and debilitating. Both times, her respect and compassion helped me to grow and build those traits for myself.

When I was younger I was never forced to go to family gatherings, extracurriculars, friend’s houses etc. but was asked to make the choice myself. People may disagree with this, but I think it helped me grow into a better adult because the choices weren’t someone else’s, they were mine. The consequences the arose from those choices were then mine too, and I learned to take responsibility for them. My mother gave me the room I needed to figure out who I was, build confidence in that identity, and to make choices in my life that aligned with that. I knew that if I chose not to visit someone or attend an event I had no one else to blame if I didn’t like the end-result. Not only that, it also meant that every interaction I had was authentic and un-forced. It led to my own self-motivation in the tasks I took up, and a sense of care and integrity towards everything I do. She also taught me about respecting my body too: knowing when I was too ill or exhausted to keep pushing. It’s been a helpful balance that lets me prioritize the things important to me, while knowing when to recuperate for the other important aspects of my life.

In 2015, I was struck with temporary, moderate gastroparesis due to a virus, which meant I was extremely malnourished for an extended period. It also contributed to my pre-existing arrhythmia becoming more severe and chronic, and to the development of a second type of arrhythmia. I was miserable, and bedridden, and at the time we didn’t know what was wrong. Being a cardiac nurse, my mom had seen many patients decondition to the point of requiring even more treatment to get back on their feet. My entire life she’d stressed the need for rest when we were feeling bad; this time she was stressing the need for growth in a safe environment. Every day, we walked while my dad waited at home near the car, in case I passed out or needed driven back home. I truly believe this is why I’m not wheelchair bound today; considering my first nurse in a dysautonomia clinic I was admitted to said, “I didn’t realize you were my patient, you’re the first one I’ve had in years with these issues that isn’t in a wheelchair.” My mom worked hard to show me how to tell for myself when it was important to rest and when it was important to push myself. Every day that I am grateful I can still travel without a wheelchair, eat without a tube, and live without a pace-maker, I have my mother to thank for.

My mother gave me years of her time and compassion; on its own, that’s a hugely positive thing to do for someone. By example, she also taught me to respect others and myself, have compassion, take responsibility for the direction my choices lead me in, and to motivate myself to get work done or to rest when needed. There are so many others in my life who have helped give me those lessons too, but on top of all of those things I have my mother to thank for the amount of physical ability I still have left. She made sure I kept as much of my health as I was able to, and that is the most positive effect I can think to have on someone. Thanks, Mom.

Perspective Over Loss

~ Olivia Hill ~ Leave a comment

Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

As most Spoonies will know, chronic health issues often force us to make changes in order to maintain our functionality day-to-day. I’ve consistently adjusted my life to accommodate my disability in what feels like a never ending cycle of loss. When this cycle first started, I grieved a lot for the things I may never do or enjoy again.

Throughout the years, this viewpoint might have crippled my mental health if I hadn’t made one positive change: my perspective. It’s absolutely normal to grieve for the parts of your life and health you’ve lost, but I was interested in changing how I felt about those things. It sounds easy to someone who’s never had to do it, but it can be one of the most difficult aspects of chronic illness to manage.

When I was younger, in the immediate aftermath of 9/11, I’d heard that people late for work that morning, out sick, or otherwise kept from the Trade Center buildings due to unforseen circumstances, survived. This knowledge evolved into the idea that sometimes a moment of loss or negative circumstance can end up being positive in hindsight.

I try to remember that the change and loss I’ve undergone, due to my health or other circumstances, might be the thing that pushed my life in the best direction for me. There are an infinite number of ways to live life, and when I stop fighting the necessary changes I end up in situations better suited to who I am as a person. I can’t imagine another choice I’ve made that has had a more positive effect on me than holding that perspective.

Daily Movement as Exercise

~ Olivia Hill ~ Leave a comment
Daily writing prompt
What’s the most fun way to exercise?
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If you could bring Hippocrates to our modern time, you’d end up explaining that we’ve become more fast paced while also becoming more sedentary. He was said to be an enthusiast of proper exercise and considered it the key to health; he might balk at the idea that, in this age of modern medicine, we’ve created a new health crisis in an effort to coordinate our lives with the least effort possible. I can imagine him saying (in perfect English, of course, because I don’t know ancient Greek) “you have medicines to quickly fight fevers, but you’ve forgotten how to move enough each day?”

In his time, Hippocrates and his constituents used lifestyle medicine to aid in healing from various diseases. For me, I think it’s important to remember that we have all the tools we need to exercise with us, each day, at every moment. Calisthenic work, or using just your own body weight to exercise, is my favorite form of exercise. It can also be the most fun because it can take so many different forms; using small changes in your lifestyle to incorporate it into your day with little disruption.

If you’re anything like me, the idea of taking out an hour or more to do only exercise feels like time you can’t afford to lose, even on something as important as your fitness. Maybe you have kids, or are the primary caretaker of a disabled adult, or have to use your limited energy (hi, fellow Spoonies!) on the most important tasks which leaves little time for focused exercise. Calisthenics can be worked into your daily chores/routine and provide the right amount of exercise for your health.

Sitting up with strong posture, pumping your legs up and down while you sit, fidgeting, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, dancing while you cook, clean, or do other standing tasks are all ways to fill your day with movement. Most of these ways blend in with your tasks in an enjoyable way and might even become second nature. Incorporating them into your moments of fun, such as playing video games, reading, or working on a hobby, creates a fun and ever-changing source of exercise. What you choose to do is limited only by your imagination and physical ability. Make Hippocrates proud by adding more movement to your daily life and have fun doing it.

Experiencing “The Shining” Through Life

~ Olivia Hill ~ 3 Comments
Daily writing prompt
What book could you read over and over again?
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An enjoyable book doesn’t need to meet any criteria other than to bring the reader entertainment. Stephen King’s The Shining does that for me, and more. His character development and relatability is renowned and I’ve found experiencing their lives vicariously is enjoyable and changes as I get older.

As a teen, and someone with very little experience in caring for others or complex responsibilities outside of my role as a daughter, I enjoyed Danny’s perspective the most. His entire world is his parents, and his navigation through the book repeatedly comes back to them, even when interacting with others. All he cares about is being safe, and protecting his family in his own way. The detail King writes on Danny’s thought process feels similar to how a child who has experienced some level of trauma would think. As someone who developed PTSD quite early in life, it was something relatable for me right from the start. I could read the book over and over simply because of Danny’s perspective.

As I grew, my interests in the book did as well. Reading it again teaches me new things about myself, and reminds me that my world view is constantly shifting with my experiences. Growing meant I understood Jack and Wendy better – The pressure Jack feels to provide and cope with his own failings, and the care and concern Wendy feels as a wife and mother. I don’t know a single adult that hasn’t had a moment when their own flaws have either directly or indirectly harmed a loved one, and Jack spends the entirety of the book wrestling with his personal demons. Wendy spends much of the book wrestling with Jack’s demons, too. I can relate to both, as I think many can, of being and of witnessing a loved one who deals with overcoming personal flaws.

Growing older still, I began to appreciate Mr. Halloran and even the manager Stuart Ullman, with renewed interest. Mr. Halloran is lovable for so many reasons, but especially with his self-sacrifice. He put himself at risk to save a family he barely knew, and to protect a little boy he understood was vulnerable to the hotel’s particular forces. His capacity for love and caring is something to be adored and it’s always a joy to read. Frequent readers aren’t unfamiliar with the idea that characters in books can bring us hope that the real people in our lives might share some of those positive qualities. Dick Halloran, to me, is a representation of the hope we all bring with us into dark times. Stuart Ullman isn’t that so much, but rather a good example of what others appear to us when their viewpoints may be distant from our own. Mr. Ullman cares about his job, and the hotel, and protects it the way Wendy protects her son. He’s not a villain so much as a man whose priorities are at odds with Jack Torrance’s. He’s leery of the man whose personal history isn’t exactly overflowing with proud moments and who seems similar to the previous caretaker, whose end wasn’t so proud either. I’m sure I’ve been the villain in someone else’s life even when I was doing my best to do the right thing for everyone; I can empathize with Mr. Ullman and his concerns.

I’m excited to read the book throughout the years. Gaining more from the characters as my life experience develops, and appreciating the book in different ways than before. A good book is something that provides entertainment, and sometimes that requires showing us something new each time it’s content is consumed. I look forward to being entertained by a new aspect and the old ones alike, the next time I read.

All The Difference

~ Olivia Hill ~ Leave a comment

It’s been a while since I’ve written any blog posts. I’ve taken a bit of a hiatus because I’ve spent the time focusing on my health and personal growth. After writing in the past on New Year’s “resolutions”, it feels right to build on my standpoint of constant growth by explaining the progress I’ve made over the years. Here are some things I’ve learned to do in my personal and professional life, and some things I know to do that I haven’t quite mastered yet:

The Obvious:

Do your best

Every day, even when I’m feeling tired or jaded, I try to give my best work to the tasks I do. It applies to my personal and professional life. This isn’t just about doing your best with the task at hand, it’s also about setting yourself up for success with the next tasks. It’s a simple directive, but easy to deeply over analyze if you want to. Do your task; but also grow well, plan well, learn well, and maintain balance well.

I’m still working on this one. The reason why is because I’ve learned a lot about myself – how my mind works best, and how I learn best – and I’ve been learning how to adjust my lifestyle, schedule, and support system to make the most of it. For me, personally, I want to work through my own differences between how I function best and how the world/economic systems work, instead of treating those differences like immovable obstacles. Part of doing my best is believing that there’s always a way to improve on my performance, to adapt to difficulties, and to find collaborators who will work with, and make the most of, my own style of thinking instead of against it.

Be honest, but not blunt – unless you need to be

In my experience there is always a more diplomatic way to convey information. Being blunt, and in some cases aggressive, should be reserved for times when the other party chooses to use your polite honesty as a way to ignore what was said completely – and only when the matter is important enough to risk potentially burning bridges. Choosing your battles is as much a part of this process as choosing your words.

Sharing your opinions in an honest but respectful way, can do wonders in cultivating needed change. However, sometimes others do not care about your opinions. Bluntness can oftentimes help convey your own convictions and boundaries, rather than persuade others to change theirs. That has value, as long as you’re also open to the idea you may be wrong.

This is why I always choose polite honesty first, because there’s always a possibility the other party has information that could change my mind. Maybe their critique of me or their expression of their own convictions and boundaries could persuade me to see things differently. Part of honesty is being honest with yourself, and open to other’s bluntness with you when it’s called for.

Prioritize

No mystery with this one. Getting lost in “side quests” can cost you your goals.

This is one I work on every day. Some of the ways I try to do it well are:

  • Write down the day’s goals, and which tasks need to be done to get you there
  • Make a schedule, and do your best to stick as closely to it as possible
  • Be flexible. Shit happens; and sometimes we’ve got to pivot and adapt. Getting good at that has helped me more than any other skill I have. I can still improve on it too.
  • Remember that anything worth doing, is worth doing halfway. I only have so much time to get things done, sometimes a time limit forces a sacrifice of quality.

The Not-So-Obvious:

The jar of rocks, pebbles, and sand can be improved on – carefully

Many professionals have heard the analogy of the empty jar that needs to be filled with rocks, pebbles, and sand. If you wanted to fill it as full as possible you could start with rocks, then pebbles, then sand. That’s how it’s supposed to go, anyway; but something about that answer has always bothered me.

Maybe it’s because that analogy has been used to convince me to ignore tasks I viewed as a priority. I’d argue it’s more because logically I think it’s a phenomenal analogy that gets told in a way that short-changes managers, employees, and goal-setters. If you really wanted to fill the jar, the best way to do it would be to put a few rocks down, fill the gaps with pebbles, pack that with sand, then repeat the layers. Each day has one to a few large tasks, then there are smaller ones that help fill in the gaps.

I firmly believe that if we put off the small tasks simply because they’re small, we’ll be left with large gaps in our potential and performance. Learning to understand the careful balance between large and small tasks is the best way to make the most of our time and ability. We don’t fill the jar up right away with large stones, we do it in parts and layers.

An example of how I do this is with my email. Let’s say I have a particularly hectic day, and I only have time to read the most important emails and handle them. There will come a time when the tiny emails (the sand), like spam or ads, will need to be sorted and removed, or my email storage will get filled very fast. The mid-priority emails (the pebbles), will eventually need to be responded to and handled or coworkers/friends/family may become upset or lose valuable productive time due to my delay. Instead of pushing off the sand and pebbles until my inbox is full-up or someone loses their patience with me, I take care of them every single day as long as I have time. Most days, I take care of the big emails a little bit, then handle some sand & pebble emails, then I go back and do more stone-sized emails. The jar gets packed as full as possible and my email stays well organized. I used to have the tendency to only focus on stones until the inbox storage was full, and then I lost long days on fixing it and robbed myself of easily obtained mental peace. Filling the jar in layers without losing focus has done me a lot of good for numerous endeavors.

Small bites

I read somewhere that the best way people learn is by learning in very small chunks at a time. 15 min each day, instead of 8 hours + once a week is the quickest way to solidify learning, for example. I try to apply this “small bite” concept to everything from my own lessons, to how I communicate with people.

I’m an over-explainer. I know this, and I know it needs to change. Many people can’t handle too much new information, and instead of helping them understand my perspective I end up overwhelming them, or worse, exhausting them. This is one I’m constantly working on; even while writing this.

As for learning, I try to do small 5-15 minute lessons each day in a topic I’m interested in, for a total of no more than an hour. I’ve learned a lot this way. Tasks can be done this way too as long as they don’t have an upcoming deadline.

Learn your audience

Some people will be details people, some people won’t be. Some people will care about you as a person, and why you do the things you do, and some won’t. Some people will want to know all the possibilities, and some will only want to know the most probable.

I’m still working on learning to gauge what the other person cares about in a conversation. In my professional life, this skill has become increasingly vital to success. One of my goals this year is to become better at succinct communication, and having the patience and wisdom to know that if someone wants details, they’ll ask. In my private life, this means recognizing that if someone doesn’t care enough to ever ask for details, then it may be time to move on and find the people who do care.

The Cynical:

Not everyone cares as much as you might

Professionally, I have the main things I care about: pride in my work, my coworker’s morale and well-being, and the future success of my employer. Personally I have a lot of passions that range in importance. Sometimes it’s hard to know that not everyone cares about the big things as much as I do. On the flip-side, I’m sure I’ve put someone else in that position about their own passions. I can’t change others, I can only change myself and how I respond to things, and focusing on that self-growth has provided me with a lot of peace.

Being skilled, or prepared, sometimes isn’t enough

Life happens. Murphy’s law sometimes wins the day. Everyone has room to grow and learn, and so even someone who has prepared and practiced will eventually meet their match in a situation. Instead of beating myself up about my failures, I try to treat each one as a learning opportunity. Spending my energy learning and growing is a much better use of it, than to spend it having remorse for my failures or bad luck.

Leaders don’t always lead well

Most people have had a moment where a teacher, parent, manager, or other person of authority seemed to make a bad or harmful choice. Not everyone who has responsibilities, or a position of power, is going to be immediately good at it. I’ve learned it’s best to focus on trying to help others grow in their positions than removing them from them. Speaking your mind honestly (as described above) can play a big part in this.

A good example of this is an experience I had with a phlebotomist who removed a needle incorrectly, and gave me a large hematoma. My mother is a nurse who has a talent for safely and painlessly doing that type of work, so I knew the phlebotomist had made a mistake. When I called to report it, I made it clear I just wanted her retrained to prevent other patients from experiencing the same thing. That was back in 2014; I’m pleased to say that she’s still working there today in 2023 and is one of the best phlebotomists at the location. A mistake made is valuable experience that builds an expert. If we constantly force people to start fresh, we’ll always have beginners.

The Hopeful:

Everyone wants to be heard

One of the most basic human wants is to be heard and understood. It’s what drives our relationships and vital connections with one another. It’s a good thing to remember, personally and professionally.

I try to be a good listener in every interaction; and I could stand to improve as a listener. I think if we all listened more it would make us better professionals, better partners, better friends and family members. We can learn a lot from one another if we’re listening, and when we’re equally listened to we gain valuable contributions to our mental health and sometimes build important relationships.

If people know they’re making a difference, they keep doing it

This point isn’t about the people who don’t care; we can’t change them. This point is for the people who care, but have never been made aware of the difference they’re making. I’ve learned that if I want to feel motivated, learning more about why someone’s asked me to complete a task helps me do that. Knowing how I’m contributing to the big picture is a major factor in whether I perform a task well.

I try to take this with me when I write notes or advice for coworkers, or when I take a mentorship role in my personal life. Feeling like they have a purpose often provides enough motivation for someone to complete a task. Additionally, sometimes people just really need the “why”, otherwise it feels like busy-work, or a pointless task.

One person can make a difference

I know this is true because one person made a difference for me. Years ago I was doing very badly at my first university; I was dealing with a mental health crisis and didn’t yet understand the importance of asking for help. I struggled alone by staying at home, missing classes, dropping friendships, and eating only once a week, at the same restaurant. The crew at that hour knew me, and it was clear by looking at me that I wasn’t doing well, but I was always there on Wednesdays. For two months I stopped going, I was reaching the point where existing just didn’t seem worth it, and I stepped out for one more day to go eat at my favorite place. I got in line and the usual girl yelled “You’re okay!!! We were so worried about you when you stopped coming in.” It took everything I had not to burst into tears at the counter. That one girl saved my life; and she didn’t even know it. Because of her, everything I’ve done from that point on has been possible. If my actions have an effect on anything, it can be attributed to her kindness.

One person, one moment, one small action can make all the difference in a million different ways, for a million different people. Ripples outward that affect other things, and so on. I spend every day trying to remember how important that one stranger was to me, so that I remember to be kind, say the nice things when I have a chance, and to do my best in everything I do. It does make a difference.

Happy New Year. I hope you’ll make the most of it.