Burnout, Executive Dysfunction, and Indulgence

I typically post my blogs at a different day and time than when I wrote them so I’m going to start marking the actual day and time. It’s 16:42 on September 19th, and I can’t decide what to do with my Saturday afternoon.

My planner works really well during the week because my schedule is consistent due to work. Sometimes on the weekends it’s not as great if I’m feeling rundown. Today it’s definitely been more like the latter.

I’ve been laying here thinking “I know I’m tired and it’s good to sleep, but I also need to [insert my entire todo list].” It’s difficult to get up and just do something.

I think I’m giving myself a pass this weekend because I’m feeling a bit burned out from 2020 but that doesn’t mean I get to skip my responsibilities and my actual self care. Indulgence is sleeping longer than you need because getting up sounds hard. I don’t want to be indulgent, so I think I’m going to start with something small and get my momentum going.

My hope is that this will get me moving to do other activities. Sometimes the resources we use for mental and physical health and products stop working, or need a jump start. When that happens I try to do an activity I enjoy that gets me moving, or turn on music I like while I work. Occasionally the making a list and just tackling one thing on it and deciding whether to rest afterwards or not is helpful.

Today, I think I’ll make tomorrow’s schedule so I start the day off right, and I’ll pick one cleaning chore, and one mindful activity (so not videogames) to do to relax.

This year is tough on everyone. What do you do to get yourself motivated, or started on a more healthy track or to do list?

Zech Whitby

“I love you, know that…..You have the world ahead of you, and it will be great”~Zech Whitby

On September 6th, 2018 the world lost a good man. Our friends at Bitter Hearts Tattoo lost a part of themselves.

My roommate and I have found a sort-of home at Bitter Hearts, and we care about the people there. Last Thursday, while sitting in class, I received a text from him. It was a screenshot of a post that Zech made on Facebook the night before:

https://www.facebook.com/plugins/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fzech.whitby%2Fposts%2F1817868241667377&width=500

What happened with my roommate and I next doesn’t matter. What matters is what Zech wrote. Please read it all. Then read it again. Then show it to everyone you know, because that’s what Zech would’ve wanted.

I don’t have much to say, because there are no words for the pain that not just I feel but that our friends at Bitter Hearts feel. No words for what I see in their exhausted faces after a week of his absence.

What I do have to say is this: There ARE people out there who will listen. People who want to help. People who don’t ever want another person to end their own life.

How do I know?

That Saturday, the 8th, we attended a gathering at the shop of everyone who’s ever cared about Zech who was able to be there that day. Most got tree tattoos (his specialty) in memory of him. Over 130 of us got tattoos and are now connected by our love for Zech. Some drove hours, or flew in from other states; some came to help give tattoos. Within the first 30 minutes, they had around 40 people signed up. The cost of the tattoos plus any donations were given to Zech’s family to help pay for funeral costs. The turn out was overwhelming. What was most overwhelming was how much we’d all wished he had just asked for us all to come. How much his friends and family wished he could’ve seen the crowd, the tears, the family of people come to pay respects and share their memories, and their love.

Every one of those people would gladly give their time to listen to someone who needed it. To help someone who was giving up, whether they knew them or not.

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts please call the suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255 and the text line is: 741741 (text “TALK” )… The national suicide prevention website also has a computer chat feature.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”-Zech

If you would like to see Zech’s art, please check out his Facebook page, personal instagram, and his Dead Trees Art Insta.

If you would like to see Bitter Hearts collective work as well as posts for Zech, please check out their Instagram page.