Camels, Dolphins, and Exhaustion

It’s taken me a while to write a new post, but I had a lot going on as well as some problems with my illnesses. Here’s the update:

I missed a week of school, before the official week of spring break, to go to Los Cabos San Lucas for spring break. I went to a resort with my family and just spent the time relaxing. This trip was significant because it was a vacation I’d been waiting to go on since 2015, when I got too sick to go and had to let my parents go without me.

I was pretty nervous about going, first for the plane ride, and second for being out of the country. The plane trip made me nervous because I would be confined to a small space and if my symptoms flared there would be no way to help me until we landed. The next concern was that I would have a serious problem while in Mexico, which wouldn’t be too bad given we’d have the funds for adequate medical care…. except…. my condition isn’t directly known. It doesn’t have a true diagnosis and lands in the grey area of cardiovascular no-man’s-land. This makes it difficult to treat without a language barrier, let alone when I have no official term to describe what’s wrong with me.

Well, I put my worries away and went on the trip. It was amazing! I rode a camel, which we were shown are given free, non-fenced, room to roam, and learned about survival methods in the desert. I was shocked I was able to stand the heat, and found out there’s something to be said for clothing designed for a sunny climate. My dad let me borrow a big, UV reflective button down that kept me from overheating or getting sun poisoning. I learned about desert plants and ate a wonderful meal, where our guide Augusto taught us all about making tortillas the traditional way and gave us four kinds of tequila to try (I was having some health problems so drinking wasn’t as feasible for me).

I also got to ride, dance with, and kiss a dolphin, which was an incredible experience not available in the US. Those are memories I’ll never forget.

The trip did have some downsides: I was feeling ill and exhausted for a good portion if it. My stomach and heart giving me problems. I had to worry about things that most vacationers don’t have to think about quite so intensely: am I drinking enough water? Did I reapply sunblock on time? Do I have the energy to be out or should I go to bed? Is this food going to cause my conditions to flare? Is my exhaustion from traveling, or did I get a virus or is something else wrong? All of these concerns had a basis in whether I was going to push my heart or GI system to the edge and need medical care, or at the very least ruin a nice vacation moment for my family by needing to cut it short.

Luckily, I made it back to the states with only some mild discomfort and went back to work (sort of…). I have been experiencing a level of exhaustion I haven’t experienced in quite some time. My school work is stressful and to add to it I’m so exhausted I usually sleep instead of completing it. Or, I wake up and have housework to finish which makes me too tired to study. Needless to say, chronic illness is a vicious cycle. As any Spoonie will tell you, borrowing spoons is tricky work. My spoon borrowing is beyond out of control and it’s going to take a lot of work to get it in check.

Vacations for Spoonies are sometimes more tiring and stressful than relaxing. But I don’t regret my experience and am really glad I was able to go. In my life lately I’ve been trying to push myself more, which, I’ll admit has the effect of making my stress a lot higher and may not be the wisest decision. Life isn’t always easy to figure out. What seems to make perfect sense to one person is incredibly opaque to another. When you add emotions, surprises, and the responses and actions of others, life becomes a seriously frustrating puzzle and borrowing spoons to handle it is even more frustrating.

My puzzle right now is a very tiring one, and I may take longer to post updates. I’ll be doing my best though, and I hope you all enjoy reading about my sometimes wild, sometimes boring and repetitive life.

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