I’ve been disconnected from current events lately. I care about how the world is doing, not just our country, so it’s going to require some significant energy to schedule time to read the world news from good sources. Part of the difficulty of my health is that I have far less energy (or spoons, for my Spoonies out there), and sometimes that makes it difficult to find the mental fortitude to handle the stress of the news; whether it affects me or not. I have to protect my mental health so that I can get up every day and hopefully at some point do something for other people. Lately, our world news has been heart breaking and I have to save the “spoons” to handle it.
With this in mind, I think I’ve got to schedule a small amount of time daily to get caught up. Another difficulty is that I’m just busy. I have a job daily, and since it’s a physical job I get worn out easily; the rest of my energy goes to cleaning my apartment, taking care of our cat and my two snakes, basic hygiene, and an attempt at having a healthy social life (which includes making gifts for babies of friends and family because that makes everyone happy).
While I think about all of this, it makes me think about what I’m capable of, what I don’t want to miss out on, and what experiences I’ve had that I didn’t think I’d ever have, or would never have again after getting sick. With all of this in mind, I decided to make a bucket list. It’s going to be long, and have all the little things too. If you make it through it, or if you don’t, comment with your own bucket lists! I want to see what other people value in life experience, and what people think is interesting. Especially, if you’re a Spoonie or even if not, let me know what experiences you’ve had that you’re not sure you’ll be able to have again, or things that you wish you could do again even if you know you probably can’t. I hope some people comment because even if in the chronic illness community there’s a feeling of “there’s so many basic experiences I’ve lost” or “no one will care what my bucket list is because I’m so limited”, it’s also important for us all to know and remember: your life matters, what you do, what you can do, and what you want to do, matter. It doesn’t matter what it is, or how it compares to someone else; all that matters is that you do something with your life, even if all you can do is think thoughts, and read blogs from twenty-something college students. You’re alive, you’re making it through one moment at a time, and that has importance.
Here’s my bucket list:
- Learn to ice-skate, at least well enough to not have to think about it too much.
- Get my own bow and crossbow and practice archery more (get a bullseye 90% of the time)
- Learn to use, clean, and fire a handgun proficiently for sport in a range. (I’ve done this a bit with a marksmanship class, but I’d like to go for sharpshooter status)… (I am pro gun for sport or appropriate self defense, but I feel regular background and mental health checks should be required)
- Learn to crochet
- Learn to make my own clothes
- Learn to tailor clothes
- Learn at least two more languages fluently (I have had introductory lessons on ASL, Russian, Spanish, Japanese, and French, and would like to learn more at that level but I do want to be fluent in 3 languages)
- Learn to paint and draw at a higher level, and sell a painting
- Go on a haunted/historic tour of America
- Run my own Etsy store
- Have kids
- Get married
- See a panda in real life
- Gallop on a horse again
- Visit Japan
- Visit New Zealand
- Write a book
- Visit the grand canyon
- Do a flip
- Do an aerial
- Do a butterfly twist
- Drink Armagnac
- Dress up in clothing for the era of a play/show I’m seeing (a plan made my one of my close friends that sounds like so much fun)
- Have my own greenhouse
- Choreograph a dance that I feel comfortable sharing with people
- Learn to play guitar relatively well
- Visit the Harry Potter part of Universal Studios
- Go on a roadtrip with my best friend and just go wherever we want without too much planning (this needs more funds than I have at the moment)
- Have a job that pays enough where I don’t have to worry about whether I have enough money to pay bills if I have a surprise expense
- Learn how to dance en pointe
- Learn to hold my breath for 5 minutes (I’m told my grandfather, who was a navy Frogman, could do this)
- Get my hair dyed blonde
- Learn to skateboard
- Learn to snowboard
- Write my own song
- Own my own piano
- Learn to play the cello
- Get flexible enough to do the splits both ways
I think that’s everything for now. There might be more later, there might be less, or I might be forgetting something. But maybe that’ll tell you all a bit more about me, and reassure you that bucket lists don’t have to be extreme, dangerous feats like skydiving. It’s your life; set your own goals, ones that make you happy.
Lock, Stock, and Spoonies 