These past two weeks have been stressful, to say the least. My overall sense of calm, loyalty, judgement, and resilience were tested in ways I did not see coming.
First, I had a minor health complication that normally would have been a quick fix in the form of an outpatient procedure with minimal fuss. Unfortunately, my health insurance does not cover my doctors whom have been familiar with my personal history (even though the company said it would). This meant I could either tackle the problem with rest and an old medication which I was not fond of, or go to a doctor who doesn’t know me and certainly wouldn’t understand how my current problem tied in with my complex history. I chose to rest.
The American Medical System, everyone…..the one place you’ll find people choosing not to see a doctor to avoid bills for visits and procedures which may make them worse or that would not be helpful even though the prices make you think they would be the best in the world. (If you’re looking for a good YouTube channel about healthcare and insurance check out Healthcare Triage)
I had to take time off of work to heal, which isn’t ideal considering I can’t exactly afford that. Now, my much needed student loan refund is probably going to go towards supplementing that lost income.
On top of that, I took more time off to help a friend with their own personal health crisis. Which is where my patience was tested. My friend was not the problem. I will not get into details, for their privacy and general courtesy for all involved. I don’t see the point in publicly shaming someone in this particular situation.
Details aside, I learned things about myself and have found I’m quite proud of those discoveries. I found that I’m willing to stand up for a friend and protect their freedom to choose, and their basic autonomy. I found that I could withstand mental intimidation and childish retaliation and respond with maturity and a sense of calm and rationality. That’s not to say I didn’t feel anger, because I was beyond angry, but I didn’t act on it and I am glad I did not.
I was deeply invested in maintaining my friend’s freedom and autonomy, probably because it’s something many of us in the chronic illness community lose for many reasons. Sometimes, it can’t be helped. But when another person over-steps their bounds and threatens, needlessly, someone else’s freedoms that makes me extremely upset. I believe that people are healthiest when they’re given the chance to be responsible for their own lives, decisions, and bodies. I’ve seen people thrive once they had full control over these things.
Additionally, no one can grow or learn if they only take other people’s advice or orders; if you did not make the decision yourself there is always the question of “would it have turned out better if I’d done it my way?”. People typically learn better when they experience consequences for themselves, instead of listening to the consequences another experienced. This isn’t to say that we should all go and do things someone else has found to hold undesirable consequences; advice should be listened to and other people’s viewpoints taken into consideration. But don’t forget to form your own opinions. Trust your gut, your heart, and your mind, while also listening to the opinions of multiple people and sources to form your own opinions.
Whether it’s your healthcare, or your personal life, or your career or education, your decisions are your own and no one can (and no one should) take that away from you. The very few exceptions are if you are directly harming another person, or yourself, or if your own mental illness has made reality very…. cloudy. But even in these circumstances, there are people who have the training and the knowledge to assist and whom we give this authority to, and there are people who do not.
I know a lot of this depends on the situation and which person is trying to take away the free choice of another. In my own situation I asked for advice from multiple people and I stood by what I strongly felt was right. I will never regret that.
I’m back to work now and excited to start the new school year soon. I hope I’ll be able to bring you all more content and that we all have a low stress week. Thanks for reading!
Lock, Stock, and Spoonies 